Fostering a Cocoon Environment: How to Create a Home That Nurtures Spiritual Growth

By: Amecia Matlock

In the popular Disney Film, Finding Nemo, there’s a moment where the character, Marlin, reflects on how he promised himself that he wouldn’t let anything happen to his son, Nemo. His friend Dory points out the contradiction in his statement by saying,

“Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

As mothers, it’s natural to want to shield our children from the physical, spiritual, and emotional dangers of this world. This is especially true when they’re young babies and toddlers. But could this constant worry lead to unhealthy anxiety for us, or even worse, limit our children’s spiritual evolution?

Praying for the Perfect Life

Every night I pray for a hedge of protection around my son. I plead the blood of Jesus over him, I pray for salvation, that he prospers, that he never experiences generational pain and anguish, that he hears God’s voice and it never leaves him, I anoint our home, I do all the things. But in all of these efforts to protect him from harm, or truthfully, to ensure he has a perfect life, do I fight just as hard spiritually with faith and trust?

It is important to pray for God’s spiritual protection of our children, but it is just as important to be obedient to our role as mothers. The Bible says that faith without works is dead (James 2:26). What if that ‘work’ requires putting stock in what you have faith for? Waging spiritual warfare against the enemies lies about our children’s fate in this world by choosing to put our hope and trust in God.

Walking the Talk

In a world that skews the reality of what it means to be a Christ follower, it’s more important than ever for our children to see us walking in what we say we believe. The Bible said God does not give us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Now we know Satan rules this world and will give us, as well as our children, cause to fear. When we choose to stand in our strength, which is the joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10), no matter our circumstances, we are being living examples of how our children can approach the world and avoid the anxiety, depression, and hopelessness that the enemy wants to ensnare them with. We are also walking in authentic alignment with our belief that greater is He who is in us, than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

So how do we practically walk in alignment with that knowing?

Walking this out will look different for all of us and largely depend on our children’s stage in life. I’m not saying not to be wise by taking commonplace safety measures, but rather the fear and anxiety that comes along with things that are outside of our realm of control. I’ve found that a lot of my own worries had been linked to traumas I’d experienced myself in childhood. I would find myself obsessing over shielding my son from experiencing the same or worrying about situations that wouldn’t typically cause alarm.

Our spiritual enemy will use things we’ve gone through, the media we watch, and even anecdotes from others to incite a spirit of fear. My first suggestion would be to guard ourselves from the outlets we know the enemy uses to trigger us specifically. We do live in a fallen world, but we should spend our time dwelling on the things above (Colossians 3:2). What we choose to feed our mind with will shape our perceptions. When we focus on God’s promises more than the problems of the world, we are enabled to walk in bold faith of what we know is to come rather than fear of what may or may not happen at all.

There’s only so much we can actually even control. When we think we have more control than we actually do over our home and our children, we venture into dangerous territory. It our job not only to consistently walk in faith over fear as trusting daughters, but to use the discernment we are gifted by the Holy Spirit to know what’s an actual threat vs. what our mind may just be running wild with as the mothers and spiritual coverings for our home.

I am also an advocate for therapy and largely benefit from it myself. Working out your own unresolved pain can help ensure you don’t unintentionally and unnecessarily project your own anxieties onto your children.

Plant a Seed that God Can Water

The bible says to raise up your children in the way they should go, and when they are older, they will not depart (Proverbs 22:6). I pray daily for guidance to be given to me and his father on how to do this. I don’t pray in the hopes that he may never stray or turn his back on God, but that even if he does, I’ve planted a seed deep enough in childhood that it can’t be uprooted. I understand that there is no way that I can do this on my own. God knows him more intimately than I ever will, and I need to be led by the Holy Spirit to raise this child who was His first.

In a recent post about how God delivered me from bipolar depression, I spoke about growing up in a word-abiding spirit-filled home. My mom told me once, when I was younger and questioning all of their decisions, that their ultimate goal was to lead me to God. This was to ensure that wherever their parenting failed, He would be the foundation. That was so powerful to me, and I never forgot it. It’s true love to humble ourselves enough to know that we are not perfect, and despite our best efforts, we may fail our children in one way or another. As well as it is to lead our children to the only good and perfect thing we’ve ever found in this world. And it’s comforting to know that my parents are also human because it allows me to be graceful with myself too. I aspire to pass that humble and graceful mindset to my children as well.

Despite the home I grew up in, I strayed. And I strayed hard. There were things in this life that my parents couldn’t protect me from. Ways I was hurt, and that I hurt others. Scars that never left me physically, spiritually, and mentally. And those are the same things God used to give me testimonies. They were also used to help me have more of a heart like Christ for people of all backgrounds when it comes to hard topics that the enemy wants us to be ashamed about, and to show me the very true power of a Living God. The seeds that my parents planted helped me to remember what home felt like as God pursued my heart when I was in active rebellion.

I am a living testimony that a mother’s faithful prayers are heard, and that God is greater.

Spiritual Transformation in a Cocoon of Love

When I was a young girl, I had an obsession with caterpillars. I would pick them up at recess and play with them, and when the bell rang, I was too attached to let them go. I would take them inside and put them in my little locker to keep them safe. What I didn’t know at the time, is I could have been hindering them from transformation. Every time we keep our children from experiencing life to the fullest out of fear, we are in danger of doing the same.

My pure excitement at spotting my first caterpillar in very a long time, this past Friday

The truth is we all experience darkness in some capacity. There is no way to ensure our children live even close to perfect pain-free lives. But we can have faith that God will use whatever they may go through to build them up into faithful and resilient individuals. We can hope they experience spiritual growth and transformation, rather than no challenges at all. And we can stand by their side and endure these challenges with them with a warm embrace and a strong hand. We can learn to better love them, through first loving God.

I leave you with this verse from 1 Corinthians 13:7,

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

FRUIT OF THE DAY | LOVE SONG OF THE DAY | GONNA BE GOOD – TAYA