When Pain Bleeds Into Purpose

By: Amecia Matlock

It’s beautiful when a born again believer is healed. The veil is lifted. They can finally see…and…they can finally see! All the ways since childhood that the enemy has tried to ensnare them, distract them, deceive them, and even kill them.

And they see how they played along.

They rooted for Satan.

More than that, they batted for his team.

That was me.

And I was furious.

I made it a mission to expose the enemy and steal back all the territory I had won him. But I wasn’t slow to speak and quick to listen. I became a spitfire. I became the same person I refused to listen to before Jesus found me. Recently, God has convicted me and changed my entire perspective. I realized that I have not always stood firm in purpose, and sometimes I catch myself veering into emotionalism.

I became a spitfire. I became the same person I refused to listen to before Jesus found me.

My content is not for venting, and Fruits of My Spirit is more than catharsis and regret. There’s work to be done for the kingdom. We have all been given the gift of reaching several people within a matter of seconds. How will we steward that? I for one will be suiting up for battle online. The real battle.

Because people need truth not judgement. We need love not exposure. We need practical help not ridicule. And sometimes when I come guns blazing at Satan, my wounds gaping and bleeding from the scars he left, I bleed on and hurt those very people in the crossfire.

I want to personally apologize to anyone that I’ve made to feel small or judged by my approach. My prayer is that you’d see that all I do comes from the desperate longing that you too would experience this immense love that I’ve found. I’m flawed and I will constantly be growing up until the day I die.

I still have doubts about my own worthiness on this side of salvation. It’s hard to believe that this is all free, and that even when I make whoppers like this, my father longs for reconciliation. It’s reassuring to know that this gift is not contingent on anything I can do. It’s actually not about me at all, it’s about how good God is.

God wants us to come, in whatever state.

In the midst of addiction and mental distress.

Crying out at the end of your rope.

He loves you in every state, every phase, every mood, every lifestyle.

He just wants you.

He wants you to know that you’re worth dying for.

Take it from someone who’s lived it.

Ending Prayer

God, I pray that the person reading this, or listening to this, sees how unbelievably loved they are by the King of the universe. I pray that they are filled with hope as they begin or continue to discover your plans for them. I pray that they reject seeing the world through the distorted lens of the enemy, and that with the help of your Holy Spirit, they’d see with clarity. I pray that You heal any lingering hurts, pains, and disappointments, and I thank You for finishing the work you’ve begun in them. I pray that they be established in the calling and will you have for each of their lives, for I trust that they are good. In Jesus mighty name I pray, amen.

If you have never accepted God into your heart, and would like to, see the below salvation prayer:

Heavenly Father, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for my sins, that He rose from the dead, and is alive right now. I repent of my sins and ask You to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior.

If you prayed that prayer and believe it in your heart, you have begun walking in freedom with our savior Jesus Christ, and the best is yet to come! Don’t stop here, make your prayer time personal. God is longing to hear from you, and remember He already knows it all and He still loves us!

FRUIT OF THE DAY – GENTLENESS

SONG OF THE DAY – NOTHING I HAVE TO HIDE/ GRACIE BINION