Adjusting to a Modest Wardrobe and a Changing Body

By: Amecia Matlock

When I first returned back to God, I felt really held the whole year. It was like God was reassuring me that He never left my side, He still loved me, I was still worthy, and that nothing could separate me from His love (Romans 8:38). While all that is still very true, I can feel myself being weaned off spiritual milk and craving spiritual meat. The closer I get to Him, the more I want my heart and life to be a reflection of that relationship and reverence I have. I’ve been being convicted of so many things, and God has been holding my hand and showing me how my decisions have been affecting my life in so many ways.

Last week I discussed music, and this week I’d like to talk clothes!

My Modesty Choice

For those newer to the faith or that have no relationship with God, this may all sound like a bunch of rules. It certainly did to me when I was in the world. But as you really get to know the father, you see that He is just that, a good father. There are spiritual, mental, and physical repercussions for living outside of His word and will for us. And if you are a Christian and you’re willfully going against scripture to satisfy your flesh, then you are operating through spirits of rebellion and pride, which typically does not end well.

There are spiritual, mental, and physical repercussions for living outside of His word and will for us.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it” – James 4:17

Yes – we all stumble, and I do not say this to illicit any shame or condemnation. Our sins were fully paid for at the cross. But from someone who has stumbled herself straight into a pit her fair shar of times, I have learned that it is better to just listen to His word and unction and ask questions later.

Personal Testimony: I Used to Idolize My Body…

I used to idolize my body. I was so concerned about how I presented myself and how I was perceived that I did not stop to ponder how my heavenly father was perceiving me. And surprisingly, I was actually praised for it.

A hard lesson that I’ve learned is that typically the world places more value on what you look like externally than internally. When I received the most positive attention about my appearance was when the idolization of my body had reached its peak and most severe obsession. I had an eating disorder.

I used to idolize my body. I was so concerned about how I presented myself and how I was perceived that I did not stop to ponder how my heavenly father was perceiving me.

What started as a season of depression where I couldn’t stomach to eat, led to counting calories excessively to achieve a deficit, which led to a diet of zero-calorie energy drinks, alcohol, and little else. I was so obsessed with looking my best, that I had neglected the need to feel my best.

I had tied my worth to an external factor. This is what happened in many areas of my life where I obsessively seized control instead of giving that control to my heavenly father and allowing myself to just be.

What is Considered Modest Attire?

I’m not here to tell you to throw out all your shorty-shorts and to get rid of all shoulder bearing tops like a grade-school teacher. And I’m not here to tell you how to interpret scripture because the truth is, I do not know. I’m not a theologian. I do not know how Jesus would feel about the changing fashion trends, and I won’t speak as if I do.

All I know, is that putting on certain pieces of clothing didn’t feel right anymore. It was as if, when I came out of the world, I was hyper aware of the part I’d been playing, and some things started to feel like a costume.

The bible says to seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:6). You don’t have to figure anything out yourself. If we seek the father for guidance, He will surely give it to us.

All I know, is that putting on certain pieces of clothing didn’t feel right anymore. It was as if, when I came out of the world, I was hyper aware of the part I’d been playing, and some things started to feel like a costume.

It’s just up to us to listen to correction, and humbly accept it when it’s given. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding – Proverbs 15:32

Changing Mommy Body and Style

This revelation and conviction about my wardrobe came at a pivotal time in my life as a woman. My body had changed drastically after pregnancy and the one I had been accustomed to fitting was gone for the foreseeable future. I love fashion and have actually worked as a bridal stylist and an on-set wardrobe stylist. I did not feel like switching to a more modest wardrobe took away from that, it actually gave me so much more to consider when styling.

Before I was pregnant, I began studying Kibbe/Kitchener’s Body Systems & Essences. They are completely founded on your unique body shape and features, and they are applicable regardless of size. This is perfect when you have a shifting mommy body. It is also about enhancing your God-given natural beauty and all the things that make you unique. I really started to value this method of styling, especially while I was pregnant.

These were by no means rules to live by, but it was a fun starting point that helped me in learning the shape and style of clothes I looked best in. They helped me to embrace my shape and feel good about the beautiful body that brought my son into the world.

A lot of the styling methods were already intuitive and felt more natural than the “costume-feeling” clothes that I was no longer aligning with. I also learned that I was a dark autumn, and this gave me a color palette to explore that brought out my features.

While it is taking me time to fully learn my new body and what I like to wear, it is a beautiful thing when I feel harmonious in my outfit. It gives me confidence as I am adjusting to my new body.

Style as a Marker for Change

My new wardrobe feels like a better reflection of me from the inside out. For years I went through cycles of what I considered “growth” that were marked with new hair and clothes. And although my outside appearance had changed, I was still struggling with the same spiritual giants that just took on different forms. I was still facing the same mental battles, I was still failing at trying to do it all on my own, and then the cycle would repeat. I was never really changed before Jesus.

Now I truly feel like my appearance is a reflection of the change inside me. I’m happier than ever and my clothes reflect it. I’m more content in my own skin and I’m embracing my imperfections one day at a time. And maybe the best part, the hurt little girl who used to love big frilly dresses has been reborn.

FRUIT OF THE DAY | SELF-CONTROL SONG OF THE DAY | OPEN ARMS(HALLELUJAH) – GAVN!

What have you learned about yourself through your modesty journey?

1. 

   To God be all the Glory Honor and praise! My life is His alone to use ❤️ May he bless…

2. 

   Thank you for sharing transparently. Our experiences and tripping stones are a path to not only our own stronger faith…

3. 

   wow!! 29Peanut Butter Dreams

4. 

   I pray for God’s goodness and grace for you and your family. Thanks for reading!

5. 

   Thank you for sharing this.